Style Invitational Week 1312: TOUR de Fours XV A neologism contest. Plus winning captions for Bob Staake cartoons. By Pat Myers Pat Myers Editor and judge of The Style Invitational since December 2003 Email // Bio // Follow // December 27, 2018 Too many people sent “abra-cadaver” for Picture C, but this week’s winning captions — for single and combined cartoons — feature lots of weird takeaways. (Bob Staake for The Washington Post) (Click here to skip down <#report> to this week’s winning cartoon captions.) Dadven*turo*us: Daring to wear a fanny pack, socks with sandals, or a “World’s Best Farter” T-shirt. T*outr*ageous: Preposterously boastful. “The other world leaders laughed at his toutrageous claim that his administration had done more in two years than most others had in the history of the country.” It’s our annualish Tour de Fours neologism contest, in which you make up words that contain a given block of four letters. This week, Amazingly Successful Loser Jesse Frankovich suggests that the letter block come straight out of the name. *This week: Coin a word or multi-word term that contains the letter block T-O-U-R and describe it,* as in Jesse’s examples above; *the letters may be in any order,* but there may be no other letters between them (you may insert a space or hyphen). You might make your entry funnier to read if you include a good example, or showing how the term would be used, since there’s a good chance that someone else will come up with the same term you did. Submit entries at *wapo.st/enter-invite-1312 * (all lowercase). Winner gets the *Lose Cannon, * our new Style Invitational trophy. Whoever is so unlucky to land in second place receives *Mr. Turdy, * kind of a perverted Mr. Potato Head. You actually form Mr. T yourself with the enclosed modeling clay, then stick on the appendages. Donated by Loser Nan Reiner. *Other runners-up *win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “We’ve Seen Better” or “IDiot Card.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). *Deadline is Monday night, Jan. 7; * results published Jan. 27 (online Thursday, Jan. 24). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules . The headline for this week’s results was suggested by both Jeff Contompasis and Jon Gearhart; Bill Dorner wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook at on.fb.me/invdev . “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday ; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter. *The Style Conversational: *The Empress's weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. Especially if you plan to enter, check it out at wapo.st/styleconv . And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . . *SKETCH COMEDY: THE CAPTIONS OF WEEK 1308* **In *Week 1308* we asked for captions for any of the Bob Staake cartoons above, or a combination of them. Or you could tell us what was wrong with the picture. At least a dozen people captioned Picture C *“Abra-cadaver,” *while icky Sylvia Plath jokes abounded for Picture D. 4th place: *Picture D: *“C’mon, that wasn’t an insult -- I /love/ Hamburger Helper!” (Nancy Della Rovere, Silver Spring, Md.) 3rd place: *Picture A: *Watch out, glass ceiling! (Susanne Pierce Dyer, Green Valley, Calif.) 2nd place and the 'World's Okayest Girlfriend' mug: *What’s wrong with Picture D:* The low-hanging pink lamp is clearly an OSHA violation. (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.) And the winner of the Lose Cannon: *All four pictures* can be described with the same letters — all anagrams of one another: *(A) WOMAN HOLDING A BIG ANVIL ON THE SEESAW. (B) SHOWED MAN VIEWING A GIANT BALL ON SHOE. (C) OOH, SEE ONE TALL MAN WAVING HIS BIG WAND! (D) AGHAST BESIDE MAN WHO WILL GO IN AN OVEN! * (Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.) Couldn't carry a toon: Honorable mentions (Bob Staake for The Washington Post) *PICTURE A: * Elon’s mom has her own plan for getting to Mars. (Jesse Frankovich) Even though it didn’t have the best safety record, Esther’s Discount Airlines was still better than flying United. (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.) Ethel’s elevator phobia was intense. (Susanne Pierce Dyer) After massive budget cutbacks, NASA did the best it could. (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.; Al Fisher, Rockville, Md.) Wile E. Coyote had to admit it was a nice catch. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase, Md.) They could take away Juliana’s pilot’s license, but they could never take away Newton’s third law of motion. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.) June was going to make those ants regret pitching their tent under her new ski jump. (David Peckarsky, Tucson) Mrs. MacLintel desperately wanted to be in that social set of ladies who launch. (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.) Helen isn’t fooling anyone with her inflatable anvil. (Jesse Frankovich) (Bob Staake for The Washington Post) *PICTURE B: * Every time he tells a lie, Paul Manafort’s ankle monitor grows. (Jesse Frankovich) Target’s latest security system stops shoplifters before they make it to the parking lot. (Jill Renkey, Frederick, Md.) One of the reasons they don’t want people wandering around Chernobyl is the cherry grove. (Barbara Turner) So all those beautiful sunsets have just been special effects! (Gary Crockett) Randall had to admit that his bunion was starting to get in the way of his dancing career. (David Ballard, Reston, Va.) Edgar put his right foot out, but that was the end of his hokey-pokey. (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.) And suddenly, Larry caught a glimpse of what it’s like to be wiped out by a heavy period. (Hildy Zampella, Alexandria, Va.) The lesser known, but no less treacherous, Running of the Balls. (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.) “. . .And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door.” (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.) “Medicine ball?! Doc, please tell me you’ve got this in liquid form.” (Hildy Zampella) It’s hard to walk when only one of your legs has a knee, even before someone drops a giant bowling ball on your ankle. (Mark Raffman) /*What’s wrong:* /The small red ball is correctly labeled “B” for background, but the large red ball is missing the “F” for foreground. (Dave Conger, Sterling, Va., a First Offender) (Bob Staake for The Washington Post) *PICTURE C:* Some magicians ask to be buried six feet over. (Will Stutzman, Millersburg, Ohio) The sawing-in-half went terribly wrong, but Colette is still part of the act. (Gary Crockett) Hiring Lazarus was the smartest thing Mandrake ever did. (Jon Ketzner, Cumberland, Md.) “And for my next trick, I will make half my jacket disappear!” (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Va.) (Bob Staake for The Washington Post) *PICTURE D: * “Jeez, I only asked for gluten-free coffee . . . (Colette Zanin, Greenbelt, Md.) The other “Hell’s Kitchen” judges expressed disapproval with greater subtlety than Gordon Ramsay. (Bob Kruger, Rockville, Md.) The dessert chef put too much yeast in his gingerbread man again. (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines) The untimely end of the Pillsbury Doughboy. (John Kupiec, Fairfax, Va.) “Hey, I ordered baked Alaska -- not Alaskan.” (Joanne Free, Clifton, Va.) *What’s wrong: *The “3” on the woman’s jersey is crooked. (Jesse Frankovich) *What’s wrong: *The tea drinker has failed to extend her pinkie finger. (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio) *COMBINATIONS: * *Pictures B and C: *The entertainment was intense at the Onesie Tux party. (Duncan Stevens) *A and C:* You have to get creative when the Stairway to Heaven is out of order. (Robyn Carlson, Keyser, W.Va.; Roger Dalrymple, Gettysburg, Pa.) *A and B:* To cease the giant ape’s rampage and save the city, one brave vet launches herself into the behemoth’s nether region and neuters King Kong. (Bird Waring) *B and C:* What’s wrong is that both of the men’s bow ties are clip-ons and well, that just lacks panache. (Jeff Shirley) *Still running — deadline Monday night, Dec. 31: our “year in preview” contest: See wapo.st/invite1311. *